“Wherever life plants you, bloom with grace.”

Well, life has planted me in many places, and I’ve grown from each of them. In the last 4 years I have resided in Maryland, Massachusetts, and my home state, Connecticut. This year I have added my latest locus of proliferation, and that is Nashville, Tennessee.

Yes, I live in Nashville ya’ll.

I never once doubted God’s plan for my life. Not once. But I will say that there was a true wrestling period for me. I wrestled between listening to God + surrendering to His plans, and of course… my own desire to be the Master of my own fate. What I quickly realized is that whenever you place that kind of pressure on yourself, if the result is failure, you are left feeling depleted, worthless, disappointed, and well… straight up STOOPID. The purpose of leaning on God and trusting in His plan is not to have someone to blame when things go wrong, but to remember that there are things that are far beyond our human control– some things we weren’t made to bare on our own– some things that transpire only for God to see how much trust we have IN Him to truly “cast our cares ON Him” (1 Peter 5:7).

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Last year (2018), I thought I had it all figured out. I had a potential job opportunity back in Baltimore and if you know me… you know I LOVE B’MORE. I lived in Maryland for a little over a year while attending graduate school at Johns Hopkins and I had every intention on staying in the DMV area. My year in MD was transformative.

trans·​for·​ma·​tive : causing or able to cause an important and lasting change in someone or something / / a transformative experience

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I’ma take ya’ll back into time real quick…

June 1st 2016, I started my first day of graduate school. 21 years old, fresh out of undergrad– I had no idea what I was in for. The School Counseling Fellows 6th year program made me engage in deep introspection–Who am I? What do I believe? Why do I believe it? How does it manifest in my life? Where do I belong? It was also the first time I was away from my immediate family and living independently. I needed that. Fast forward to July and I graduate from Hopkins…  click here to watch my graduation speech. 

Following Hopkins I spent 2 years working at a private, independent day school in Connecticut. And while presented with a plethora of opportunities, I still wasn’t fulfilled. I wanted to be a Counselor!!! Like HELLO!? Can I use my degree already? … so I started job searching again.

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Aiight, so remember that potential job opportunity in Baltimore???? Yeah, it all sounded REAL good, and to add to that, I was suddenly offered a job in Boston at the same time! I felt like I was on top of the world and I was finally reaping what I had sown. However, due to my deep desire to move back to Baltimore, I actually let go of the official offer that I’d gotten in Boston in hopes that this job in B’more was mine. It just made sense! This was a place where I interned during grad school AND I was the reference for one of their amazing employees. Not to mention how they swore by the fact that I was their “top candidate.” Workplace Lesson 101: Never jump ship until you know that you’ve securely fastened your life jacket well enough to stay afloat (quote me on that, that was straight off the top!)

Sadly, the odds were not in my favor. I received an email one early Monday morning telling me they went with someone who had more experience.

–Yo, if I heard that ONE. MORE. TIME.

I was paralyzed. I looked at that email, and instantly became tearful. I wasn’t sad though. I was pissed. I was pissed that I set my sights on something that seemed so clear to me, it felt so right! I was even talking to a potential roommate and looking into town-homes, I was ALL IN YA’LL. And just like that, I was all OUT of favor –> and a damn job… WOOOWWWW!! Immediately I sent an email to the job in Boston asking if they would reconsider my application. One of the hardest things I ever had to do. I felt like I was crawling back to beg for something that was already mine. I sent the email and shut my laptop.

I didn’t speak for 2 days. Shutdown mode on 10.

After sharing with my family what had happened, I went cold. All I kept hearing for 2 days straight was “you blew it, you look stupid, you did this to yourself, YOU, YOU, YOU.” HEAVY! But after those 2 days passed, something happened. There was a spark within me. In retrospect, it was the Holy Spirit that interceded (Romans 8:26-27). You know when you’re like, “I just had a feeling… or something clicked for me” –> that feeling? that click? Is the Holy Spirit. 2 days of moping around and nothing to show for it. I lacked grace for myself and I lacked faith in God. So I made a choice and that choice was to see the lesson in the L. When you try to walk ahead of God, He lets you! Nevertheless, there are obstacles that you will encounter that cannot be overcome by human power alone and quickly you realize that you can only “do ALL THINGS through CHRIST who strengthens you” (Philippians 4:13).

At this point, I was exhausted. I made enough of my own decisions and decided to lean on His understanding instead on my own (Proverbs 3:5-6). Mid-July 2018 I got a call back from the job in Boston… they still wanted me to join their faculty and I had a little over 2 weeks to relocate from Connecticut to Massachusetts, and I did (shout out to my family!! UGH ya’ll are the best movers ever in life).

This move to Boston would become my year of transfiguration.

trans·​fig·​u·​ra·​tion : a change in form or appearance : metamorphosis, an exalting, glorifying, or spiritual change

In this season, I was fervently searching for a deeper relationship with God. I do not take any of my blessings for granted and after walking in faith, I knew I had to surrender my life 100%. I joined the Worship Team, Choir, and started to build community at church (Jubilee Boston WUSSUP!!!). I was still very involved and connected to my Pinky Promise sisters and they held me up in spirit and in truth. I spent time investing into the only thing I knew would be reciprocal tenfold. On October 27th, 2018, I got baptized at my home church in Stamford, CT. This was an outward demonstration of the inward transfiguration that had occurred. I said yes to Christ 100%.

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3 days after my baptism I flew out to Nashville, TN for a work conference. During this time I had already been in the job search process because my current position was only contracted for 1 year. Ironically, a recruiter from KIPP Nashville reached out to me a few weeks prior to my arrival in Nashville and asked if I was interested in a Founding School Counselor position. I told her I would be in the city for a conference and wouldn’t mind stopping by to visit the school. Touchdown in Nashville and I visit the school– and as you can imagine it went great! As soon as I returned home, I submitted my application for the position. In December, I was asked to fly out to Nashville for an in-person interview in January 2019.

Fast forward, I get in and interview… honestly ya’ll at this point, I had done SO many interviews it was the most relaxing process ever– not to mention the awesome people I met along the way (like the really cool uber drivers who assured that I would like it here if I got the job… yeah we chopped it up). It’s January 17th, 2019 and I’m back in Boston driving home from work when I get an incoming call from TN! My initial thought? —alllrriighhtt, here goes the “thank you for your time but we’ve gone with someone with more experience” line… but I was surprisingly mistaken. They wanted me to join their Founding team and be the person to build their School Counseling Program. Ya’ll know I fell ALL the way out!!! After a week of prayer and sleeping on it, I accepted the position. On June 22nd, 2019, my mother, sister, and I hit the road. We stopped at my brother’s house in Charlotte first, then drove another 6 hours to my place here in Tennessee.

Important to note: I am cognizant of the fact that I put serious work in to get to where I am, but I am also very aware of the fact that this was not by my might alone (Zechariah 4:6).

“Wherever life plants you, bloom with grace.”

When I read this quote I am reminded of the places that I was once planted and how much I have bloomed over time– and yet, I never stayed long enough to establish any deep roots. For 4 years, I have been uprooted from places where I planted seeds, but never got a chance to fully see my garden grow. What gives me peace in this though, is knowing that I have never left unfinished fields in the hands of unfit stewards (naahhh, seriously quote meeee!!!).

I genuinely believe that Nashville is where I will finally get a chance to be present long enough to see the fruit of my labor (God willing).

Every place and space that I have occupied has left an indelible mark in my heart and lead me towards my purpose. God was intentional about that, and thus I vow to be intentional about my handiwork here in this New Garden of Growth.